Family Support Crucial for LGBTQ+ Youth Mental Health

For Joey Dijkstra, coming out as a gender-diverse person in Albany, Western Australia, was a daunting prospect. \"I grew up in a conservative, Christian community where gender diversity was demonised,\" they say. \"To say it made exploring who I was and coming out scary is an understatement. Still now, people have a lot of misconceptions about my gender identity and why I am who I am.\"

Joey Dijkstra says their family's support \"was crucial to my mental health journey\". Joey's family initially didn't understand their gender diversity, but they never wavered in their love and support. \"I think the biggest thing was that they continued to love me and support my mental health,\" they say. \"Continuing to connect with me as a person showed their unconditional love for me. I think my family had to place a lot of trust in me that I knew who I was best and granting me autonomy to make decisions that were best for me.\"

Receiving support from family is vital to improved mental health for LGBTQ+ youth, according to findings from a recent survey conducted by national youth mental health organisation headspace. The nationwide survey of more than 2,000 family members of young people aged 12-25 found that almost half of respondents felt the mental health of the queer youth in their family was 'poor' or 'fair', compared to less than one third of non-LGBTQ+ young people. The results echo numerous other findings that consistently show LGBTQ+ young people have higher rates of psychological distress and almost double the rate of suicidal ideation than non-queer youth.

The survey also found that while families were more likely to be concerned about the mental health of their queer young people, they were also more likely to encourage them to seek professional support. Joey says speaking openly and honestly with one another was key to maintaining a great relationship with their family. \"Their support was crucial to my mental health journey,\" says Joey. \"I know a lot of parents and families, particularly in regard to Christianity and religion, worry that supporting and affirming their child isn't the right decision. And I want to encourage those families by saying that it is. It absolutely is. \"I am mentally healthy and doing really well right now, which wouldn't be possible without the support from my family.\"

Receiving support from family or friends, who are often the first people that a young LGBTQ+ person will come out to, lays a foundation for seeking further help if needed, says headspace Chief Clinical Officer Vikki Ryall. \"When LGBTIQA+ young people feel fully supported ... they experience better mental health, higher self-esteem, and a more positive outlook,\" says headspace's Vikki Ryall. \"Young people who identify as LGBTIQA+ are significantly more likely to experience high or very high levels of psychological distress, or to experience loneliness or isolation due to experiences of discrimination, exclusion, homophobia and prejudice,\" says Ryall. \"Therefore, equipping friends and family is imperative: If their first experience is positive, they're more likely to continue to seek help to support their mental health and wellbeing.\"

Michelle remembers the moment her child first opened up to her about their gender identity, at around 12 years old. \"I think they were worried how I might react because they let me know by giving me a letter they had written but cut into many little pieces,\" she says. \"I remember being in a hurry to put the pieces together so I could talk to them about it!\" After reassembling the letter, Michelle told her child how grateful she was they had confided in her and that she was eager to know more. \"They wrote, 'Sometimes I feel like a girl and sometimes I feel like a boy and I'm not sure which one I am.' I wanted to know what this meant to them and mostly whether they felt happy and OK with this feeling,\" says Michelle.

Michelle says accessing gender-affirming care for her child was life-saving. \"I also wanted to know what they needed from me and from the world and how I could help them with that.\" Once the news had settled in, Michelle began the process of supporting her child through gender-affirming care. \"My child had done their research very well and knew what to expect and, most importantly by then, knew who they were,\" she says. \"I was so grateful that once we got into gender-affirming care, the staff were so knowledgeable and kind and really made the effort to connect with my child, validating and affirming them every step of the way.\"

While Michelle and her child knew the outcome they wanted, the process was far from straightforward. \"It took a long time, and many appointments to finally be able to celebrate the first ever dose of testosterone! There were some hard days, before then, when my child felt like they were losing hope. This was tough because I could not hurry the process up, only be there to support them as much as I could,\" she says.

The impact on her child's mental health of receiving gender-affirming care was immediately apparent to Michelle. \"Before receiving care, my child had said to me that if they had to live the rest of their life with their outward appearance and their voice not matching who they were, they wondered whether it was a life worth living,\" she says. \"Receiving gender-affirming care was lifesaving, literally.\"

Michelle has advice for any other parents whose kids may be questioning their gender or sexual identity. \"Encourage your child to talk to you and listen to them without judgement,\" she says. \"If there is anything you don't understand and want to know more about, ask them — but don't assume you will always know the right things to say to them or that you will phrase your questions in the right way every time.\" She recommends parents access professional, peer-reviewed resources and speak to other parents who have been supporting and advocating for their LGBTQIA+ children.

Joey Dijkstra grew up in a conservative, Christian community \"where gender diversity was demonised\". Vikki agrees that it's important for family members to proactively learn more about what their young person is going through. \"Educate yourself: this not only takes pressure off your young person, but also shows them that you care,\" she says. \"When a young person shares their gender or sexuality with you, they're inviting you into one of the most personal parts of their life. Meeting that with support, love and respect can significantly reduce their risk of poor mental health, self harm, and other challenges — and help them feel hopeful about their future.\" Joey says that while affirming their gender identity has been challenging, it's also been rewarding. \"It opened up a whole new world of possibility for me … it was daunting and exciting that I was no longer confined to the gender roles placed on me,\" they say. Michelle knows firsthand that supporting young LGBTQ+ people isn't always easy. \"Be prepared that not everyone will share your view, and your child is highly likely to see and hear things that are happening around the world that they find very upsetting,\" she says. \"Be ready to listen to their concerns and, wherever possible, surround them with a community of peers and allies. \"Most importantly, tell your child that you love and respect them and you are proud of them for being true to themselves.\"